I am a Racist.

I am a person whom society labels as white.

I am a person who thinks of myself as white.

Society considers Black and Latino people to be “not white”.

The definition of white is fluid and has changed over time.

At one time European immigrants such as Italians, Irish, and Jews were considered “not white”.

Race is a complicated hierarchical construct that society codifies and imposes on itself. It has deep roots and is self-perpetuating.

Racism is built into the very fiber of our culture. I am, at my best, an involuntary racist, a reluctant racist, a racist on the long road to discovery and recovery. I am racist none-the-less.

I first encountered the idea that, as a white person in America, I am inescapably racist, while in ninth grade participating in anti-Vietnam War protests. My friend, Hope, attended training to serve as a demonstration Marshall. She informed me that she had learned, and believed, that all white people are racist because of our participation in a racist culture.

I was skeptical. I was a fledgling leftist radical – how could I be racist? I did not have conscious racist thoughts. I did not act in racist ways. Some of my best friends… Didn’t matter.

I was complicit in a racist system that systematically undermined people of color.

I was born into and infected by this pernicious racist system.

I resisted the classification of being a racist because I acted with the best intentions. I was not one of those vile people who spouts racist stereotypes and does hateful things. I marched for civil rights.

Still, the idea that I could be unconsciously racist troubled my mind.

Years later, getting a better understanding of white privilege helped me realize how I am indeed a racist. I am a racist because my status in America today, as someone who is considered to be white, bestows unearned advantages on me. These advantages exist and I do not need to actively do anything to receive their benefits.

The very fact that I am free to speculate about my relationship to racism is due to the privileged position that I occupy in society.

Society has clear mechanisms to let people of color know their limitations.

As a person seen by society as white, I am free to see myself without limits while ignoring the underlying privileged position that I inhabit. I am free to be a passive beneficiary of a system that is stacked in my favor. I am free to be ignorant of my complicity in a racist system.

I am troubled by this system. I seek to raise my consciousness. I try to understand my privilege and how it affects others.

I watch on social media an endless parade of racial atrocities. I can no longer ignore the reality that Americans seen as black experience encounters with the police that are fundamentally different from my own.

Do Black Lives Matter? Yes, black lives also matter and deserve the same rights that I take for granted.

Is the social consensus changing?

Are we approaching a paradigm shift – a point where a move toward greater equality and justice is possible?

Can this heightened awareness of racism lead us to true change?

Or will we wait it out and then reassert our white dominance?

To confront and overturn my hidden assumptions I read voices with different life experiences on social media. I have started reading Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. I am transformed by the power of this narrative.

When I open myself to the voices of others I begin to understand what I can do to help realize the worth and dignity of those that society, and I as a reluctant racist, oppress.

I seek to recognize and change the inherently racist aspects of society and of myself.

I wish to truly see others who appear to be ‘not like me’ as my other selves.

I am overwhelmed and lost and need guidance to move toward action for change.

I wish that I knew how to simply make racism go away.

I believe that by working together we can shift our racist society toward greater justice for all.

Yours in Ethical Struggle,

Randy Best

Leader, Ethical Humanist Society of the Triangle