On November 20th I had the privilege of attending the Transgender Day of Remembrance event at Duke University’s Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity.
Transgender Day of Remembrance was started in 1998 by a trans woman, Gwendolyn Ann Smith, to memorialize the murder of another trans woman, Rita Hester, in Alston, Massachusetts. Transgender Day of Remembrance has become a national annual day to memorialize victims of transphobia.
Hatred and fear of transgender and gender non-conforming people often causes acts of violence. Reactions can be extreme and the level of violence and discrimination that trans and other gender non-conforming people are subject to is truly appalling.
Transgender Day of Remembrance events often start with reading the names of trans people who have been victimized by violence in the past year.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to step out of the definition of who you should be and to adopt a gender role that is different from society’s expectations. Many trans people face rejection by their families as wall as members of the greater society.
The event at Duke began with short video presentations by trans people. These videos were informative and opened up my thinking about the challenges that trans people face.
These videos can be found at: http://www.transpeoplespeak.org/
I encourage you to sample some of these short videos of trans people telling their own stories. The videos by Laverne Cox, Deen, and Jean and Seth, are particularly good.
A panel presentation followed. One of the things that was readily evident was the variety of terms used by panel members to self-identify – to mark their place on the sexuality/gender landscape.
So of the terms I encountered are:
trans man – a female-to-male transgender or transsexual person
trans woman – a male-to-female transgender person with a female gender identity.
genderqueer – a person who feels that his/her gender identity does not fit into the socially constructed "norms" associated with his/her biological sex.
cisgender – individuals who have a match between the gender they were assigned at birth, their bodies, and their personal identity.
agender – is a term that describes people who do not have a gender identity. Agender people may be of any physical sex; some, but not all, try to look androgynous.
The panelists identified themselves as genderqueer, bi-sexual, agender, and trans woman (two).
They spoke of growing up and becoming aware of/forming their identities, relations with their families, and the challenges that they faced in their daily lives.
Panelists were asked to state the pronoun that they would like used to refer to themselves. I found it interesting that the genderqueer and agender panelists wanted to be referred to as “they”. The trans women panelists talked about the deliberate hurt involved by those who refuse to use feminine pronouns when addressing them.
I believe that respecting someone’s worth and dignity includes using the pronoun that people would like you to use. It is a simple act that conveys a lot.
My “take away” is that human sexuality is much more diverse and complex than the binary categories that I had become accustomed to.
Man/woman, gay/straight – does not begin to categorize the varieties of human sexuality and gender identity.
More young people are not fitting in the rigid sexuality and gender expression boundaries created by society.
Perhaps growing up in a more open sexual environment has allowed young people to express their authentic selves.
I will strive to understand, not judge, and be supportive in allowing others to become true to the people that they are.
Transgender Day of Remembrance is an important time both to reflect on victims of injustice and celebrate human diversity.
